


My Life Unraveled

by One_Purpose



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Alternate Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, Blood Drinking, Blood and Gore, Car Sex, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Friends, Explosions, F/F, F/M, Forced Ejaculation, Forced Masturbation, Forced Orgasm, Friends to Lovers, Funerals, Gang Violence, Gangs, Gunshot Wounds, Head Injury, Injury, Injury Recovery, Loss of Trust, M/M, Major Character Injury, Masturbation in Bathroom, Masturbation in Shower, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Phone Sex, Public Masturbation, Semi-Public Sex, Separation Anxiety, Shooting, Shower Sex, Slow Build, Slow To Update, Social Anxiety, Trust Issues, Unhealthy Relationships, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-05-01 03:10:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14511255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/One_Purpose/pseuds/One_Purpose
Summary: Kaneki is just a regular man in a regular world, at least that is what he is trying to be. Three years ago, he got into an abusive relationship with purple-haired man that wouldn't let him end the relationship for years but he eventually got out of it and has been trying to live his life the way he wants. However, unbeknownst to him, his previous boyfriend doesn't give up on the things he wants and will do anything to get it back. Kaneki, curious about the strange new shop down the street, is the very first customer and is introduced to a man that will turn his life in a direction he is not ready to go.





	1. Explain How This Should Work

**Author's Note:**

> I know I have other works that I still haven't finished but it's easier for me if I have several works up sine my brain works overtime (I'll have several stories to work with).  
> If you all aren't feeling the story, then I will discontinue it but I highly suggest waiting until there are a few chapters in.  
> I don't really like to continue a story that no one is getting into so, during the course of this story, if it starts getting too boring then tell me and I will either change it up so it is less bring or I will discontinue it.
> 
> F.Y.I.: This chapter is in Kaneki's POV

  It's been hard, living like nothing happened but I am trying to be a bit more positive in my new life. Being with him, I was not allowed to visit my friends and family but I was allowed to message them and Skype them. It has been about three years since I broke off the relationship, if you could even call it that, and I still haven't gone to see my family, I'm...scared. Anyways, I started  working in the local library, making sure people turned in their books on time and reading many of the books myself when no one is waiting for me to check out their books. Actually, many of the people that come in ask me what the best books are or just come to talk to me about one of the books they checked out. I enjoy talking to the people, it's refreshing, I feel like my own self. I just got off so maybe I'll go walk around for a bit.

"Oh, Kaneki, you're leaving?" One of the regulars asks.

"Yep. I kind of wish I could stay here forever."

"Haha, only you. Hey, if you're leaving, you should check out the new shop down the road. I don't think it opened yet but it looks pretty cool in there."

"New shop huh? Sure, why not? I don't have anything else to do. See ya!"

"Se ya tomorrow." With that, I leave and start heading down the street. _Oh, someone must have bought this old place._ I stare at the grey building, amazed by how polished it looks now compared to how it used to look when it was still for sale. I stand at the glass doors of the shop and look inside, trying to get of view of some of the items, they look like a bunch of masks. I don't realize how much I get caught up in the area around the store until I look up and see a man standing there with a blank expression. I jump back and immediately apologize for snooping but instead of a scolding, the man unlocks the door and opens it for me.

 

  Not wanting to be anymore rude, I step inside, the smell of leather hitting my nostrils instantly.

"My, my, I didn't think I would get a customer before I had my grand opening." The man's soft voice says.

"O-Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't know!" I finally turn to look at the man and get a view of his face. I am taken back at first but intrigue instantly kicks in afterwards. The man's face is one you would see in a freak show, as negative as that sounds, I actually like to see the freak shows. His skin is pale and his face consists of a lip piercing, several ear piercings, and a piercing above and below his left brow. His hair is long, a jet black color, and pulled back into a ponytail in an undercut style. And his eyes... his eyes are so beautiful, a stunning silver that just shines in the light. He has a simple but strong looking pair of glasses on too.

"No worries, I wasn't expecting many customers in the first place. Would you like to look around?"

"U-Um, I-I- Sure." The man leaves me to look around. I observe the masks in front of me, none of them are the same. As I glide my fingertips against the cool leather, the man speaks up, startling me slightly.

"So what's you're name, cutie?"

"W-What!?" My cheeks go pink at the nickname.

"You're name. You must have one."

"Oh, yeah, um...It's Kaneki Ken."

"Kaneki Ken. Where have I heard that name?"

"The library maybe? I'm pretty well known by the people there."

"Hmm, possibly. I've only just moved here but I must have heard your name around town."

"9:00 pm is an odd time to just open a shop."

"It's the perfect time to open the shop. No normal day dwellers are going to come in here looking for a mask. The night dwellers, though, love these kinds of places." I nod, not knowing where to go with the conversation and continue to look at the masks.

 

  I break the silence once more by asking him why he makes masks, to which he replies,

"It's a hobby. Masks can be used for many things but with the right one, they can help reflect your true self. These masks are mere props. Of course, I make all my masks for a reason but these are just ones for the general public who have a typical personality."

"Do you hand make these yourself?"

"Yes, I do. In fact, if one chooses to do so, I will crate a personal mask just for them. Of course that costs a little extra but not too much. Would you like one?"

"No, thank you. I wouldn't have much use for a mask." Suddenly, we both whips our heads around when we hear someone walk in, a woman around my age with short purple hair.

"Ah, Touka, long time no see."

"Uta," The woman speaks. "The store is looking good."

"Thank you. As you can see, I've got my first customer."

"I see that." She turns to look at me with narrowed eyes. "You buying something? Why are you just standing there?"

"I'm not buying anything. I just wanted to check the place out."

"If you're not buying anything then leave."

"Now, now, Touka." The man, Uta, puts a hand on her shoulder. "That' not very nice. Besides, I was just getting to know Mr. Ken here. Besides. I don't expect people to just start buying anything immediately when they walk in."

"Well, fine. I'm gonna go. I have to start my shift at Anteiku. You should really stop by sometime."

"I will. It's almost little Hinami's birthday, right?"

"Yep, tomorrow."

"I'll stop by then. I've been working for weeks on her present."

"I'm sure she'll be excited to see it. I have to go. See ya Uta."

"Goodbye."

 

  Out of curiosity I ask Uta if that girl is his girlfriend, to which he replies,

"Oh no, not at all. Why, has she peaked your interest?"

"She's pretty cute but a little too intense for me."

"So you're the sensitive type. I like that. Oh, look at that, more customers." I turn around once more and sure enough, there are people walking in. I sigh, a little upset that I have to leave. I know I get along with the people at the library but that just because they are like me. However, when it comes to the whole public, I get pretty skittish. "Leaving already?"

"Uh, how did you know?"

"I could see it in your face. You know, you can always come back here, even if it's just to chat."

"Oh, I don't want to bother you like that."

"It's not a bother at all. It might make time go faster if I'm talking to someone."

"When you put it like that... sure! I'll come back."

"Wonderful! Until then, Kaneki." He shakes my hand, it's cold but his hands are smooth, slightly callused but that is probably from all the masks he makes. I then leave and head back to my apartment where I flop down on the couch after making myself a microwave dinner. I turn on the t.v. and the news starts up. I don't really like to watch the news, I'm already depressed as it is so I don't need anymore help but I do hear her say something about increasing trouble with a gang that call themselves Ghouls. Luckily for me, I don't associate myself with people like that so I don't have anything to worry about. I turn the channel to some nature channel talking about the "circle of life", no I'm not watching Lion King, and slowly drift off to sleep with my now finished microwave dinner sliding onto the couch beside me. That Uta guy was a little strange but there is something about his personality that is oddly calming, completely opposite to...well... _him_. At the thought of that man, my ex? No, not even that. My dreams take a sharp turn, reminding me of everything he has done to me, pulling back into the world I had worked so hard to escape from. I hope one day I will be able to forget him.


	2. Can You Tell Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The friendship between Uta and Kaneki sails off as the two get to know each other at the famous family cafe, Anteiku. However, the positive aura does not stay for long as Kaneki's past catches up to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Kaneki's POV chapter.

  The next morning, I wake up with a terrible kink in my neck and back from sleeping on the couch. I groggily stand up and makes my way to the bathroom where I turn the water on warm before lifting the nob to start the shower. I then slips off my clothes and get in, sighing at the soothing droplets running down my head and back. Before, baths and showers were the only thing that I was allowed to actually enjoy by myself without that _man_ all over me, that's why I would always take as much time as I could. After my shower is over, I get out and slip on some different clothes; a regular blue t-shirt, blue jeans, black shoes, and a grey hoodie. Walking outside and locking the door behind me, I heads toward the library. For obvious reasons, my body is set on a timer so I wake up pretty early and that means I can just wait in the library and read until it's time to open. However, this time, I take a right turn and find myself in front of the HySy ArtMask Studio but it does not appear to be open and there isn't anyone inside. Sighing, I turn to leave a bump into someone almost knocking the stranger and I down.

"Sorry! I didn't see you there!"

"Kaneki?" 

"Uta."

"My first customer again."

"Yeah, sorry. I still had some time before the library opens so I thought I'd come here. I'm not bothering you am I?"

"I told you yesterday it isn't a bother, I enjoy your company. I still have time before I open too, I just came here to make sure no one broke in. I'm glad I caught you. I'm about to head over the Anteiku for breakfast." Without question, I follow him. "Have you ever been to Anteiku before?"

"I can't say I have. I've walked by plenty of times but I never went in. I'm not too keen on meeting new people."

"I get it. I'm not too excited about meeting new people either but with my job, I have to suck it up."

"Heh, yeah."

 

  We get to Anteiku, and are greeted by an old man. He says hello to Uta, obviously knowing who he is and motions to me with curiosity. Uta then tells the old man who I am and he introduces himself to me as Yoshimura, the manager of the establishment. I bow my head, greeting him and he tells us to have a seat and someone will be right with us.

"So tell me about yourself, cutie." Uta's words cause me to blush as I hold the menu up over my face.

"M-Me? Um... there's not much to tell."

"I find that hard to believe. You got some hardcore background or something?"

"Heheh, far from that. My background is... difficult to talk about."

"That's understandable, I won't pry. There's still a lot of my background that I haven't told anyone."

"Why not?"

"Why don't you want to dig into your problems?"

"...."

"Exactly, no one want to remember the problems they are trying to forget but sometimes, just trying to forget isn't enough. Anyways, what would you like to talk about instead?" I think for a minute, trying to come up with something that would be easy to answer if the question is directed back at me so I come up with a simple question.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Hm, I'd say black but that's not a color so maybe... red."

"Okay, ummm, favorite food."

"Eyeballs."

"W-What!?" I lean back at the comment but he just smiles.

"Not like that. So the menu changes for every holiday, obviously Halloween is my favorite. But since I have a membership here, I don't have to wait for Halloween to get what I want."

"Oh so you get special access."

"Exactly!" The entrance bell dings and we see a man walk in wearing a black shirt and a white hat, his head low as if he does not want to be looked at. The man lifts his head up for a moment an in that one moment, I know exactly who is is. I avert my gaze, looking down at the menu in front of me trying to look as normal as possible. Uta seems to be suspicious of my sudden change because he looks over at the guy and back at me before leaning forward and asking me if I know that guy.

"No, I've never seen him before."

"With the way you're acting, I'm finding that hard to believe."

"It's nothing, just... I met him a long time ago. I don't even remember the guy very much-"

"Well, well, well." A new voice butts in. The both of us look up and see the man standing there, staring at me, with a smirk on his face. "I'm surprised to see you here. Shouldn't you be in your cage?"

"Leave me alone." I say quietly. 

"Oh? I know you broke things off with him, everyone knows. I must say, I am disappointed... You were my favorite. Of course, it sucks that he kept you all to himself but I enjoyed it when he allowed you to play with the guests."

"I'm not like that anymore! That life is... in the past now." 

"Is it? You know he doesn't give up on the things he wants. He'll come looking for you. Hell, maybe I'll get a reward if I bring you back to him."

"Excuse me." Uta stands up from his seat and goes nose-to-nose with the man. "I don't know who the hell you are but I advise you not to threaten my friend."

"Ah, I get it. Find a new man to fuck, Kaneki? You always were a little whore weren't you?" His voice silenced with the loud crunch of his nose cracking against Uta's fist. I can only sit aside and stare in shock. 

 

  The man falls to the ground, clutching his nose and spitting out profanities. "You asshole! You broke my fucking nose!"

"Maybe you'll think twice about opening your mouth next time."

"Pardon me." Yoshimura approaches us with a calm demeanor. "I can't have you fighting in a family cafe. I'll have to ask you to leave, sir."

"What?! But this emo freak hit me! Kick him out!"

"If I remember correctly, you were the one bothering them. Therefore, this is all your fault and I need to ask you to leave."

"Whatever!" He stands up and stomps over toward the door. "You know what, I think Mr. Tsukiyama is going to want to hear about this." My eyes go wide and my heart beats rapidly at the name. 

"No! No! Y-You can't tell him I'm here! You can't!"

"Heh, you're pretty cute when you beg. You better sleep with your eyes open...Slut." The man exits the building. The hammering in my chest doesn't let up and I feel myself sliding down the wall to the floor. Uta is at my side in less than a second, rubbing my back gently as I struggle to breath, my head spinning.

"Kaneki, hey! Hey! What's going on?"

"I...*inhale*...I can't..." 

"Listen to me, you  have to breath. Kaneki, you have to breath. Can you do that?" I try but it isn't working, my chest feels tight. "Look at me!" He takes my face in his hands ans forces me to look at him. "Good. Now, I want you to take a deep inhale. Just follow my lead." He breaths in deeply and I struggle to follow along at first but by the fourth inhale, my chest feels lighter and I start breathing more normally, however, I still feel a bit light headed. "How are you feeling now?"

"B-Better...I think."

"You think. Who was that guy?" I don't say anything. What am I supposed to say? That i used to be a sex toy/ sex slave? No way.  "Look, I'm not going to force you to tell me but I can tell you are afraid of him."

"It's not..." I try to gather my words. "It's not him specifically I am worried about."

"Mr. Tsukiyama?" I visibly shudder at the name. Instead of pressing further, Uta rubs my back once again. "It's almost time to open. Why don't we grab something to go and I'll walk you to work."

"Heh, thanks." We get a breakfast sandwich and a coffee to go and start heading towards the library. I open the library and we both walk inside but before Uta can say goodbye, I speak up. "I'm sorry." I say.

"About what? You don't have to apologize about that guy, he was an asshole. And if you are ever in any trouble," He grabs a pen and a piece of paper from the desk and writes down a number, presumably his number, and hands it to me. "call or text me. I am always available so don't be afraid to just contact me."

"Thank you but are you sure? I mean, we still barely know each other."

"Well every friend started out as a stranger, right?" I smile. 

"I guess so."

"If you're up for it, you can come with me after work to Hinami's birthday party. It will be at Anteiku."

"Oh, um...sure. I'd like that." 

"Awesome. Well, see you later, Kaneki."

"See ya." I find myself staring longer than necessary as he walks out of sight.


	3. Just Who's Inside Of Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki goes with Its to Hinami's birthday party where he meets new people and makes new friends. He and Uta also spend time together after the party, learning more about each other, giving Kaneki a feeling he thought he would never feel since his previous life troubles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing crazy here, just some Uta and Kaneki bonding time. I have to say, I really like the UtaxKaneki ship. I don't know what it is about it that I like so much. Hope you're all enjoyin, this is a slow build story. I didn't want them to already be in a relationship or immediately start having sex upon seeing each other. This is a slice of life story about a boy overcoming past sexual/physical/mental abuse and tons of anxiety but with a twist of gangs and violence.
> 
> P.S. I really loved Black Panther

  Work goes by as it usually does but this time I am having a hard time enjoying the peace and quiet. I try to take my mind off of what happened but I just can't. I pull out my phone and begin to message the number Uta gave me.

**Uta**

ME: It's me, Kaneki.

UTA: I'm sorry, who is this?

 

For a moment, I am confused and worried that I was given the wrong number but then the message immediately follows up with,

 

UTA: Just kidding. What's up?

ME: Trying to get my mind off things.

UTA: That's understandable. You've been through a lot.

ME: I'd rather not talk about that. What did you get Hinami for her birthday?

UTA: I didn't tell you? I made her a chick mask that I hope she'll like.

ME: I don't know her but I'm sure she'll like it. I was actually thinking about getting her something too.

UTA: You don't have to do that just because you're coming.

ME: No I insist. I'll feel bad if I don't come with some sort of present.

UTA: Well, if you insist, she likes books. Reading is one of her favorite things to do. She like books about flowers I believe. 

 ME: Alright, I know just what to get her. Um, how old is she?

UTA: She's 14 now but due to a certain situation, she hasn't been able to go to school, not even home school so she tries to learn things as she goes along in her everyday life. Right now she's been really interested in flowers.

 

Wow. I wonder what could have happened that she can't even attend any type of school. But seeing as I got into one of the best colleges in the state, I suppose I can teach her a thing or two. Since no one is checking out any books, I get up and walk over to the section I need and start searching for the right book. Now, I'm not sure when exactly she stopped going to school so I don't know her reading difficulty but if she needs help, I'm willing to help her. I decide on a basic book of different flowers that has different pictures in it and go back to the desk where I check the book out and wait for work to be done. 

 

  When work is over, I take my leave and get ready to meet Uta but he is already waiting for me outside. I'm a little shocked at first that he would wait for me but then I remember that he works down the street from me and since we're going to the same place, it makes since for him to wait for me to get off. 

"Hey, you." He says with his hands on his pockets. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah. I decided on a book that I think Hinami will really like. It has a lot of information and pictures so she knows what to look for in the real world."

"That's nice of you. Y'know, I've never met a person like you, Kaneki. Granted, we haven't known each other very long but I can tell that you are different. Not like the other, ordinary people."

"I know you mean that in a nice way but all I've been trying to do is be a normal person. Before I... well, life wasn't easy for me so nowadays, I've been trying to take it easy." Uta doesn't say anything at that and I don't want to push the subject so we walk quietly toward Anteiku where we are greeted by, what I assume is, all of the employees. They look at me curiously but I just smile and wave. 

"Uta! Hey! Glad to see ya." 

"Hey, Enji. I see you're keeping the hair trimmed."

"That's right! The birthday girl isn't here yet, we're going to hide and surprise her when she walks in. Touka is going to warn us when they're close." Uta takes me around the cafe and introduces me to everyone. It's a lot of names but I eventually meet everyone. I didn't realize there were going to be so many people here, and they're all so sociable. Ever since my escape, I haven't been hanging around too many other people, and the library is a perfect place to get a job seeing as not too many people read actual books these days since they have tablets and phones.

 

  Uta must sense my unease because he puts a hand on my back and rubs it gently, calming me slightly.

"If this is too much for you, I won't make you stay." He says softly. 

"No, I'm just not used to socializing with so many people." He takes my arm and leads me to the farthest table away from the crowd of people and we sit. "Um, what are we doing back here?"

"Giving you a chance to calm down."

"But I'm okay."

"I've had plenty of panic attacks in my life to know when someone isn't okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to but if you need anyone to vent to, I'm here." I smile and nod. It's nice that the is so caring to someone he's only recently met, maybe we can have a good genuine friendship.

"So..." I try to deter the conversation in another direction, not that I am uncomfortable, I just have a hard time talking about difficult subjects. "Um... About your eyes..."

"Oh? Do they scare you?" 

"I can't say that they didn't startle me but they are pretty cool. Are they tattoos?"

"Yeah. Getting your eyes tattooed is a longer process than an arm tattoo or something like that, at least the place I went took longer. It's very dangerous so they have to be careful in the process. Of course there was pain afterwards but I made sure to make sure nothing not infected."

"Wow, I could never get an eye tattoo."

"What about an arm or leg tattoo?"

"...I don't know. I dont think I would be comfortable with a stranger drawing on me with a needle."

"You know, I do tattoos in the building a few blocks away from the high school. If you want, you can come in."

"Oh, I'm, I don't know. I don't really have money for that so..."

"Every first time is free, whether it be a tattoo or piercing." I'm still pretty scared about it. I've never gotten a tattoo or piercing. I don't do well with pain. "Hmm, you don't have to. I can tell you're pretty anxious about that stuff. Just keep it in mind if you do ever want to stop by." I smile at him, thankful that he doesn't press the subject. 

 

  One of the employees tells for everyone to get down so we do, as all the lights are shut off. It's still really bright in here though which makes turning the lights off meaningless but I won't say anything. The entrance bell rings as a young girl, that Touka girl, and an older woman that could be the younger girl's mom walks in. As they step in, he lights turn on and everyone jumps up, including me, yelling 'surprise' The girl, Hinami, gasps and claps happily upon seeing everyone. They all croud around her, wishing her a happy birthday. Uta then gets a chance to walk up to her with me right behind him, and hands her his present to which she thanks him repeatedly. She then looks around him to look at me. 

"Hello." She says sweetly. "I've never seen you here before."

"A-Ah, yeah...I'm uh, Kaneki."

"Oh, are you a friend of Uta's?"

"I-I-Um..."

"Yes. We met yesterday but I can tell he's something special. He even got you a present." Uta motions for me to hand her the present I got her so I do just that.

"Thank you! I love flowers, how did you know?"

"Uta told me. I was informed of your situation and well...I am out of college now so if you have any questions about anything, have Uta get a hold of me and I can help you out. I've tutored students from school before so I hope I can help you."

"Wow, really?! You would do that?!"

"Sure! Everyone should have a chance to attend school, whatever type of school it is so I'd be happy to help you. If you want, since it's Friday right now, Monday I can start as your tutor."

"That would be great! I practically live here so that would be perfect! Is that okay with you momma?"

"Of course, honey. This would be the perfect experience for you." The mother says. Uta winks at me and I blush instinctively. Eventually, we all walk off to mingle with each other, I stick by Uta, still anxious around all these people. Hinami's mother walks up to me with such gentleness in her gaze. "Kaneki."

"Y-Yes ma'am?" 

"Oh no need for the 'ma'am'. Call me Ryouko."

"Sorry. Um, was something wrong?"

"No, actually, I wanted to thank you for what you are doing for my Hinami. She loves to learn but since she can't attend school, she has been very down. You are giving her something that I can't thank you enough for."

"It's my pleasure. I've read a lot of books about people who aren't able to attend school and it just breaks my heart. I'm happy I can help her. And you don't have to pay me anything. As long as Hinami is getting a good education, that's enough for me."

"You're very sweet Kaneki. I can see why Uta likes you." She nudges me with her elbow and giggles while I blush. 

 

  The rest of the party goes great and I become more comfortable with talking to everyone, even vpcracking some jokes here and there. The whole time Uta is by my side and vice versa until the party starts to end and everyone is heading back home. Uta and I head towards the door as we get ready to leave and everyone is telling us goodbye and to be safe. Once we all say our goodbyes, Uta and I head out.

"You know, it's still early. How about a movie?"

"But I didn't bring that much -"

"Don't worry about it. Think of it as me treating you."

"We'll, okay. What did you want to see?"

"Black Panther is still showing and I haven't gotten to see it yet."

"Oh, yeah. I've heard a lot of good reviews about it." So we decide on seeing Black Panther. He drives us to the theater where he gets a medium popcorn, snow caps, and m&ms for us. We sit somewhere in the middle seats, not too many people are here since they most likely saw it around the first few days it was showng. The first 30 minutes is already fantastic and this is a 2 hour and 15 minute movie. We are completely enraptured by the movie, loving every second of it. By the end of the movie, we are jaw dropped, staring at each other in awe. We even stay for the after credits scene. 

"That was beautiful! So raw and full of emotion."

"Yeah! And the fight scenes were incredible! I could watch that a million times and never get tired of it!"

"Wakanda forever!" He crosses his arms, smiling. I laugh and do he same thing.

"Wakanda forever!" We talk about the movie The whole car ride until he pulls up to my apartment.

"Thank you for hanging out with me today, Kaneki. I had a lot of fun."

"No problem, so did I. I feel like this is the most normal I've felt in years." The tears fall before I can stop them. 

"Kaneki?"

"I'm sorry...I just..." He smiles knowingly and wraps me up in a warm hug, his cologne filling my nose in the most pleasant way.

"I will be here for you, Kaneki. Whatever troubles you are having with your life, don't be afraid to talk to me about them." He pulls back and holds onto my shoulders. "I wasn't lying when I said that I've never met anyone like you. I feel like we've known each other for years even though we just met yesterday. You have such a look in your eyes that I can't stay away from even if I tried. And I thank you for being my friend." I don't say anything and just cry in his arms. After what seems like hours, I get out if the car a wave goodbye to him before walking into my place and heading to bed. And for once, I can sleep peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued....


	4. The Monster Pulling Strings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki gets a surprise message from his friend and is overwhelmed as to what he should do. He calls Uta in the throes of his panic attack and is invited over to the tattooed man's home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, this chapter is pretty long. More drama will ensue in the next chapter!

  I wake up around 6:15 am at the vibrating of my phone. I let out a small groan and roll myself over to grab it from the side table. Up one reading the text, my body jolts up into a sitting position and my heart is beating rapidly. 

**Unknown Number**

UNKOWN: Kaneki.

UNKNOWN: It's me, Hide.

UNKNOWN: Kaneki please answer me. I saw you at Anteku.

UNNOWN: Dammit Kaneki I know you've gotten my text! Why are you avoiding me! 

UNKNOWN: You're mother misses you.

UNKNOWN: I miss you. Just text me back when you're ready to talk.

I don't know what to do. My body starts to shake and I can feel my breathing become harder and harder. I start to hyperventilate and I grab my chest as if that will sooth the ache somehow. Not knowing what else to do, I shakily type in Uta's number and hit call. And it seems like forever before he picks up.

"Mhm, hello?" I can hear the sleepiness in his voice And immediately regret calling him.

"U-Uta..."

"Kaneki? What's wrong...Is everything okay?"

"I-I-I-I don't - I can't -"

"Okay, just calm down, okay? Take a deep breath for me." I try but it's too hard. "Come on, you can do it. Breath in." I do but I do it very shakily. "Good. Now exhale." I exhale. "Great. And again, inhale." We do this several times until I feel my heart rate calm down. "Now, are you ready to tell me what happened?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Okay, go ahead."

"I woke up to my phone vibrating and...when I looked at the messages, I saw that they were from... someone I haven't talked to in a while."

"An ex?"

"No...A friend. He was my friend since we were kids and then...well, I disappeared and I haven't talked to him since. But it isn't just him. I haven't contacted my mom in a while either. I'm afraid to meet them after so long...what will they say?"

"Does your mother love you?"

"...Yes."

"And your friend. Are you two close?"

"We'll, I can't say now but before we were basically brothers."

"Then I have every reason to believe that they will welcome you with open arms. I haven't talked to my family in years either but we've never been on good terms. But I know everything will work out for you, Kaneki."

"You think so?"

"I know so. Don't worry. It will be probably be tense at first but that's how it is when you meet someone after a long time."

"Mhm." We don't talk for a few seconds, I know he's giving me time to think. I have to say, Uta, despite him technically still being a stranger, has shown me  kindness that I haven't seen in many years.

"You okay now?"

"Yeah. I'm good."

"You sure? I can come over if you want. We still have time before work."

"Uhh, actually, can I come over to your place?"

"Sure. I can come pick you up. Be ready. I'll be there in 10." He hangs up and I lay back on the bed, trying to get my emotions together.

 

  At 6:26, I see Uta's car pull up in front of the apartment and I walk out in a 30 Seconds to Mars shirt, a black jacket and blue jeans. It's edging closer to Fall so it's become chillies outside. I hop in the car and he welcomes me with a smile.

"Hey."

"Hi." I smile back at him. "Sorry for this."

"It's no problem at all. You can meet my fur babies."

"Fur babies?" I laugh.

"Don't make fun, I love them."

"No no. Not making fun. What are their names?" 

"Luna is my Great Dane. She's a sweet heart. And Smiley is my Russian Blue cat. He can be a badass but he's pretty awesome. He and Luna are married."

"Bwahahahahaha! Wait what?" I crack up laughing.

"Yeah! When I brought Smiley home, Luna just got attached to him. And vice versa. It's cute."

"I can't wait to meet he lovely couple." We pull up to his house, small but not ugly at all. He seems to take good care of the place. I step inside after he unlocks the door, I am knocked down to the floor.

"Luna! What did I tell you about tackling guests?!" He pulls her off of me and helps me back up, slobber running down my face. 

"Geez," I chuckle. "You didn't tell me you owned a horse." He laughs also and leads me to the kitchen where he hands me a towel. As I'm wiping off my face, I look around his house and see quite a few paintings on the wall. Most are abstract but some are scenic decorative. Gosh! These must have cost him thousands! "Where'd you get the money for those paintings?"

"You like them?"

"Like them? I love them! They're so full of color and emotion. Not to be rude but I think they might be the most expensive thing in your living room." 

"Haha, well believe it or not, those paintings were done by moi."

"Shut up! You did not paint these."

"I did, I did."

"Uta, these are amazing. How many have you sold?"

"Uuuhhh, none."

"What?"

"I don't know. I don't think these would be interesting enough for people to want to buy so I just kept them here in my living room." I am baffled. These paintings would cost more than my rent, and that's a lot! 

 

  I ask him if he still paints and he tells me that he hasn't painted in a while because he hasn't had much inspiration. He then proceeds to stare at me for several minutes before asking me if he can paint me. I feel my face heat up and he notices that too because he smirks. I give him the okay and he has me sit on the couch while he heads out if the room. When he comes back with a camera, I become confused. 

"I want to capture you in a picture first. The lighting is perfect right now and I want to be able to paint more than one picture of you."

"Oh...uh, okay. Is there a certain way you want me to sit?" The first pose was a normal position with me sitting up straight and a blank expression on my face. The next pose is a casual pose, me sitting back against the couch with my legs tucked up against my chest, my arms wrapped around my legs and my head turned so I am looking out the window.

"Kaneki, would you take your shirt off?"

"I-I! What?! My shirt?!" I am completely taken back.

"Relax, Tomato Face. You don't have to." I think back to "him", all the things he made me do. 

_"Come on my sweet Kaneki, pose for me. Give them all a show." The purple-haired man smiles wickedly as he snaps a picture of my nude body. He tells me to sit with my legs wide open facing toward him, so I do it. I know what happens when I don't obey...If I just do what he says, things will be easier for me._

My body shudders violently at the memory and Uta quickly speaks up. 

"Hey, it's okay. I won't make you do anything you don't want. That should be enough pictures anyway." I nod and sit on the couch quietly while he puts his camera away. He then comes to sit beside me, the cat and dog coming to accompany us. " You wanna talk about it?" I shrug. "We don't have to but you probably feel a little better if you let it out." I sigh, taking a moment to gather myself before speaking.

"I had this...ex. When we first met, he..." I look at Uta when I say 'he' to judge his reaction but Uta simply nods and tells me to go on. "He was charming and intelligent. He had this way about him that could just draw you in. He started to come around everyday instead of every week and well, we just sort of happened. During the beginning of the relationship, he was so nice and bought me all sorts of things but I didn't care about him buying me things. Then it all sort of escalated. I was going outside less and less and he wouldn't allow me to call any friends or family. Eventually, I never went outside. Sometimes hed get angry at me and he would hit me, kick me...bite me." The last thing breaks Uta and the anger is visual on his face. 

"Bite you? He fucking bit you? Did you end it with him after that?" I shake my head.

"No...I was too scared."

"Fuck. Jesus." He pulls me into an unsuspected hug causing my eyes to go wide. "That's fucking awful, Kaneki. You shouldn't have had to go through that. No one should." We stay liked this for a minute before he pulls away to look at the time. "We should get going."

"Huh?"

"Work. Remember?"

"Oh, I don't work today."

"Oh then do you want to just hang out here until I get home?"

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not. You can look after the couple."

"Heh, sure thing."

"Make yourself at home. There's food in the fridge, there's cable and if you want, my Netflix password is in the drawer by the couch. The internet password is in there too?"

 

  With that, he leaves and I kick off my shoes, curling up on the couch. I pull out my phone and look at the texts Hide sent me. I don't know what I should do. I haven't talked to them in so long, and what am I going to tell them? They warned me about _him_ but I didn't listen.

"Ugh, what should I do?!" I groan. Smiley curls up next to me and Luna lays her head in my lap, whimpering softly. "Yeah...You guys are right. I should just man up and message him back. But what should I say?" I stop and think before typing out my message.

**Hide**

ME: I'm not trying to avoid you, I'm just trying to think of what to say.

HIDE: Kaneki! I'm so glad you messaged back! 

ME: I'm sorry I didn't contact you sooner.

HIDE: Dude, I'm just happy you contacted me at all! How have you been? Are you okay?

ME: I've been living life the best I can. 

HIDE: Are you still with that guy?

ME: No, I broke it off with him years ago. I've been trying to get back into society. Is that the only time you've spotted Me?

HIDE: Yeah, good thing I did. So when are you coming over to see me? Youre mom will be happy to see you too. I've been taking care of her, cleaning her house, cooking. 

ME: I don't know yet. I'm still readjusting here. 

HIDE: Just message me when you're ready. It's really good to hear from you, Kaneki. 

ME: Yeah, it's good to be talking to you again. We'll meet up one day.

HIDE: Totally! Talk to you later man.

ME: Yeah, talk to you later

Well that went much better than I though - I think. I set my phone to the side and walk over to the kitchen where I open the fridge and freezer to see what Uta has to eat. I don't like snooping around someone else's fridge but he did say I could eat, and I am starving. I decide on a frozen egg sausage biscuit and some chocolate milk. After my food is done, I sit back on the couch and decide on watching Spiderman. Once again, Luna and Smiley are by my side and by the time I finish eating, I don't realise that I have already fallen into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...


	5. I'm Broken, Dying, Helpless, Lying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While at work, Uta meets a very unhappy Hide. While asleep, Kaneki doesn't hear his phone ringing and come to find out, the police has been trying to contact him for hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An emotional chapter.  
> This chapter is in Uta's POV.

  Today is a busy day since most people who work around here are off on Fridays. A few walk in and just look around but don't buy anything and others buy some things. I figured to get some more money in I would have some candy bars and m&ms  up at the front desk to sell, maybe some cigarettes also. Some people just come in for the cigarettes but I can't complain, it is bringing in money. Another person walks in with sandy blonde hair and starts to look around. I can tell he is distracted, if the way he keeps looking over at me is any indication. At first I think about asking him what the problem is until he walks up to me, confident and clearly judging me. I simply stare at him as if I suspect nothing.

"So...I saw you at Anteiku." The man says. 

"Yes, I stop by almost every day. I've seen you around also."

"What do you plan on doing with Kaneki?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Cut the crap. Kaneki doesn't call or message me, his own mother even after he breaks it off with that guy. It looks like he's taken a liking to you too, just like he did with _him_. What are you planning?"

"If you mean that I plan on being Kaneki's friend and helping him deal with whatever has been bothering him, then that's what I am planning."

"Listen man, just stay away from him. He doesn't need guys like you hanging around him." And the man walks out the door. I sigh loudly and think about messaging Kaneki but I don't want to stress him out even more so I just go about my day.

 

  After work, I stop by Anteiku to say hello and grab some of my favorite eyeball treats.

"Hey Uta." Touka greets me. I wave back to her in reply. "Let me guess, eyeball cake balls?"

"How'd you know?"

"Please. These things will rot your teeth you know."

"My teeth are perfectly fine, I do have a dentist. Besides, I'm sure Kaneki  would want to try some."

"Who? Oh, that guy from you're studio...and Hinami's party. You're still talking to him."

"Of course! He's quite charming."

"Tch, something's off about him. Feel like I've seen him somewhere before."

"He does have an original face."

"No, it's not that. I'll  think of it. Anyways, you two are going to hang out today?"

"He's at my house right now. He's been there since early this morning." Touka stares at me lime I just blew up a children's hospital. 

"Uta!! You let a stranger stay at your-"

"He isn't a stranger."

"You have only known him for a few days! My god!" She hurriedly tosses the cake balls in a bag and takes my money before telling me to hurry and go home to make sure nothing is stolen. I frown at her accusations toward Kaneki. He isn't a bad guy, not at all. He's just very...broken.

 

  I go home and find nothing out of place. However, upon looking over to the couch, I see the most precious sight. Kaneki is curled up on the couch with Luna and Smiley next to him. At first I think about waking him up but I'll let him sleep a little while longer. I put his portion of the cake balls in the fridge and place mine in a bowl, eat I silently on the couch while he sleeps. Half an hour passes and Kaneki starts to stir, opening his eyes slightly.

"Uta?" He says in he most gentle voice. I reach out to softly run my fingers through his dark hair, his cheeks glowing a light shade of pink.

"Have a good nap?"

"You're already off of work. I slept that long?"

"It's fine, don't worry. Here." I get up to go to the fridge and beg back the cake balls. "I got these for you. I didn't now what flavor you like so I just got chocolate strawberry and vanilla." He takes me bag from my hand and reaches into the bag. He bites into one and his eyes light up.

"Wow, these are good!"

"Told you. I'm going to go walk Luna. Wanna come with?"

"Sure." He gets up and heads to the bathroom, obviously to use the restroom. I use that time to hook Luna's leash up to her harness and put Smiley's leash and harness on him too. Kaneki comes back and looks at me with confusion. "You have a leash on the cat."

"Yes. They love taking walks together, so romantic of them. Do you want to walk Smiley?"

"Uh, okay." We head out the door and down the sidewalk. Smiley stays close to Luna the whole time. "Do people ever question you when hey see you walking him?"

"Not so much anymore. I always walk them so no one really brings it up. They do smile whenever they see us pass by." He nods and doesn't say anything else as we walk through the neighborhood. We get to the local park and take a seat on one of the benches. "So um..." He starts to speak. "How'd you find Anteiku? Or...I mean, everyone who works there."

"Renji Yomo, that tall man with the silver hair."

"Oh, yeah, I remember saying hi to him."

"He and I were friends first before we both found Anteiku and Yoshimura. He and I had...been through a lot."

"Why didn't you ever work at Anteiku?"

"I was... thinking about some things. I needed time to myself. I still talked to Renji, I still talk to him now. I had a different calling than Anteiku."

"I can't imagine." 

 

  We walk around and talk for a little while longer before I notice Smiley and Luna become tired so we walk back home and I undo their leashes and harnesses. As my back is turned I hear the television volume going up as Kaneki let's out a loud gasp. I turn to he tv to see what has him so shocked. 

"Welcome back." The news anchor says. " Just a few hours ago, a break in was reported in these community apartments in room 7A. Officers say that nothing appears to be stolen but the cost of a new security system isn't too exciting for he landlord. Right now I'm going to take you over to Ayame Matsumoto  who is now with one of he officers investigating this crime. Ayame."

"Yes, I am here with officer Tsukuda, one of the leading investigators. Mr. Tsukuda, what can you tell us about this crime?"

"Well, for one thing, we can completely rule out that this is a break in. However, nothing appeared to be stolen or damaged besides the blown it security system."

"And what does it mean when nothing was stolen?"

"When there is a break in and nothing was taken; no money, no television, or anything like that, that most likely means that this was personal."

"You're saying the one that did this knew the person that lived in that room?"

"Yes, most likely. We still don't know the whereabouts of the person that lived in that room but we are still searching."

"Can you by any chance give us that name?"

"Yes, his name is Kaneki Ken."  A picture of Kaneki's face appears on the screen, however it looks to be a much younger picture of him. "If anyone has seen him by any chance, please call us."

"Thank you so much officer. I'm Ayame Matsumoto, back to you Emica." I look over at Kaneki and see him flop onto the couch with is head in his hands. I sit down next to him and rub his back soohingly. 

"What the hell?" He breaths. He looks down at his phone and sees that he has several calls from the police department and even a few texts. "I didn't even hear my phone go off."

"We have to go down to the police station and show them that you are okay."

"Yeah. Yeah we probably should." We get in my car and I drive all the way to down to the station where I park my car and walk inside with Kaneki. We go to the front desk and there is a woman asking us if she can helps us. "No-brainer, um, I'm Kaneki Ken...the guy on the news." 

"Oh!" She quickly stands up and jogs down the room, stopping to talk to a man and point over at us, before jogging back to her seat. A bulky young man walks up to us with a hard face.

"Mr. ken," He says, voice deep. "Follow me to my office." We both follow him to his office where We sit down with him sitting across from us. He place a recorder on his desk and two over officers walk in to stand beside him. "Forgive me, it's best if I record all of this, for evidence."

"O-Of course." Kaneki says.

"So Mr.Ken, where were you all this time. We've tried to contact your phone but you didn't answer."

"I-I'm sorry. I was over at my friend's place."

"This is the friend, I assume."

"Yes."

"And what's you're name?" I tell the man my name. "Uta, huh? Why does that sound familiar?"

"I uh... used to be a troublemaker back then. You might have seen my name in the records."

"Ah, yes, I have. Not doing that anymore I hope?"

"No, no. I run the mask studio around here."

"Yes, you just opened didn't you? I've been meaning to check the place out. Anyways, how do you two know each other?"

"He was actually my first customer. I didn't know him before that though."

"Hm. Mr. Ken, did you know anyone that would want to hurt you?"

 

  "I...I - Well - I..." I can see that something is wrong, he's struggling to get this out so I offer to leave the room but he shakes his head. "I met this... guy. He showered me in gifts and he was charming. I introduced him to my mom and my best friend and well, they weren't too fond of him. They told me that they got bad vibes when looking at him. I ignored them though because I really liked him. When we finally got together... I don't know what happened. I went outside less and less until it got to the point where I didn't go outside at all. He would get mad at me for the smallest things and..."

"He abused you. It's alright, I understand this is hard for you. You aren't with him now?"

"No, no, no. I broke it off a few years ago. I haven't contacted my family at all though, I'm ashamed."

"In those three years?"

"Yeah. He was mad when I broke it off. Really mad. He said he would find me."

"I see. What's his name?"

"I...I don't remember. I wasn't allowed to call him by his name, just 'sir' and...and 'master'" Kaneki says the last part quieter but I still hear him and I am pissed the fuck off.

"Alright, well, thank you for your time Mr.Ken. For the time being, you should probably stay with your friend for now while the investigation is still open. Are you alright with that?"

"Yes, of course!" I say.

"Good. We'll call you if we need anything else." We all stand up and he sees us to the door. Just as we're walking away, the man calls for Kaneki. "And Mr.Ken, you should sign up for counseling. It could do you some good."

"Oh, y-yes sir." We get back to my house and he flops onto the couch, sobbing quietly. I sit next to him and hold him, anything I can to comfort him during his hard times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...


	6. Surrounded By The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukiyama learns the whereabouts of his beloved Kaneki and works out a plan to get him back. Meanwhile, Uta and Kaneki continue bonding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Tsukiyama's and Kaneki's point of view. This chapter is a bit slow but I don't want to dig right into the smut, you know? So please be patient. Also, this chapter is a tad short.

  You may have gotten away from me this time, my love but you can't hide from me for long. You're scent, your body it is mine and I will get you back no matter what I have to do. - I think, a wicked smile on my face. I hear a knock on the door, annoyingly knocking me away from my thoughts.

"What is it?" I yell.

"It's Hitoshi, sir. He says he saw Kaneki." I snap up out of my chair and rush over to the door, swinging it open.

"Where is Hitoshi?" He steps aside and points to Hitoshi sitting on the couch with an ice pack on his face. I'm taken back a little. "A little bird tells me you saw my sweet Kaneki?" He looks up at my with a scowl and I just smile. 

"Yeah, I saw him. Tried to pretend he didn't see me but I walked up to him."

"And why is it that you didn't bring him back with you?"

"I would have but I wasn't packing any heat on me, plus he was with a guy." My attention perks at that. 

"A guy?"  

"Yeah, he had black hair and a lot of tattoos. He broke my nose." I feel my eye twitch at that, anger swelling my body as I think of some stranger touching my property. Of course when I was letting all those other men touch him, it upset me but it brought in money. Not only that but I knew all those men. 

"Hitoshi, Junichi, Shigeru, I want you to find out who this man is. I need to know everything. Find out if this man is going to be a future problem."

"What? I'm not facing that guy aga- AGH!" I land a left hook to Hitoshi's cheek and he falls to the ground.

"You will do as I say. I am the one that pays your rent aren't I?" He rolls his eyes and reluctantly agrees to do the job. "Good. Come back to me in 72 hours with as much information as you can find on this man." They walk off and go back tk my office, slamming the door. 

 

  I've been keeping tabs on my dear Kaneki ever since he managed to slip away from me. However, I am not able to directly communicate with him in public my everyday face is too well known to be causing a scene. I know that he lives in an apartment now and works at the local library. Books were the only source of entertainment I would give him. He was able to have access to my personal library. Oh, I can't help it think back to his facial expressions. The way his face scrunched up whenever I would caress his face or the way he would gag when I shoved my tongue down his throat.

"My sweet Kaneki. We will be together soon. I promise you that."

~~~KANEKI'S POV~~~THE NEXT DAY~~~

  I wake up, my nose stuffy from crying and a slight headache. I look down and see that I am in, what looks like, Uta's bed. An immediate blush spreads on my face. However, Uta is nowhere to be seen. I get out of bed and walk to the kitchen where Uta is standing over the stove and an amazing aroma coming from where he is cooking. I must have heard me walk in because he turns around and gives me a quick smile.

"Good morning." He turns back to the stove.

"Morning." I reply. "That smells really good." I move over beside him so I can see what he's cooking. 

"It's a ham and swiss omelet roll. And on the side is male buttrcream muffins. Oh, that reminds me, what would you like to drink? I have coffee, cocoa, juice, water, or if you're a health nut I can make a fruit or vegetable shake."

"Cocoa is fine." He finishes the omelets and turns the stove off before walking over to the cabinet and grabbing a can of cocoa. You can tell he's an artist, how his hands work with such precision and ease. Speaking of which, his hands themselves are a sight to see. I wonder what they would feel like running so over my skin. Maybe they would be soft since they look soft or maybe they're rough like most would imagine an artist's hands to be. Wait, What? Why am I thinking things like this?  Shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts and I don't even realize that Uta is calling my name. 

"Kaneki? Thinking about the break in?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, I'm sorry. No I wasn't thinking about that. Just daydreaming, I guess." 

"I'm. Well come on and sit down, breakfast is ready." I sit across from him at the table from him and dig into one of the omelet rolls. A very VERY embarrassing moan slips from my mouth and quickly look up to Uta who is staring at me with wide eyes. "Um..."

"U-Um..."

"...So...I take it that it's good then?" The blush on my face intensifies and I cover it with my hands. "Hahaha! Hey, no worries! I'm happy you think it's good." 

 

  After a vey humiliating breakfast, Uta allows me to use his shower but...I don't have any clothes! I tentatively walk over to the bathroom door with the towel around my waist and crack it open.

"Uta?" I get no response so I yell a little louder. "Uta?" Then I hear him walking toward the hallway. 

"What's wrong?" He asks. 

"I-I don't have any clothes to wear." I look away from his face and hear him tell me to hang on a moment. He walks to his room and comes back with folded clothes in his hands.

"Here, they'll be a little big but they're warm."

"Thank you." I go back into the bathroom and change into the clothes. He is right, they are big but they are very comfortable. I'm wearing some grey sweatpants that are a bit too big in length but fit comfortably around my waist, and a black sweater that hangs to the middle of my thighs. I'm curious as to what detergent he uses because his clothes have an intense fruity smell. 

"Hey, I was just thinking," Uta says after I sit on the couch beside him. "After this whole break in situation is over, how about we take a trip?"

"A trip?"

"Yeah! We could take some of the squad and go somewhere." Kaneki laughs at the word Uta uses.

"Squad? Did you really say that?"

"Yes! Yes I did!" He says with confidence. Kaneki rolls his eyes and playfully shoves his arm. "You know," Uta begins after some time of silence. "You don't have to worry about that guy anymore. You don't have to be scared anymore. I know it's easier said than done but well..." Kaneki's smile softens and he sateres at the floor shyly before leaning his head against Uta's shoulder. 

"Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...


	7. You Stare And Laugh With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a month and a week later, now the beginning of winter and Kaneki's case with the break in has been closed due to lack of evidence. He is allowed to move back into his apartment but is suggested that he stay with Its for a while longer just to be safe. Although upset, Kaneki isn't surprised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll most likely have to cut the flight scenes into parts so this will be Part 1.

  "I see..." 

"We are very sorry Mr. Ken but due to the lack of evidence, we simply cannot continue with your case."

"No, no, I understand."

"However, if you suspect anyone or if anymore break in attempts occur, please contact me immediately. Just because your case is closed right now doesn't mean it can't be reopened." 

"Yes sir."

"No I suggest you continue to stay with your friend here just to be safe. You're already approved to move back into your apartment but since this particular situation of yours seems... personal, I wouldn't believe that they won't do it again."

"He can stay with me as long as he needs to sir." Uta says.

"Perfect. You two stay safe, alright? Why don't you take a vacation, relax a while? It might do you some good."

"We've actually been planning on taking a vacation with some friends."

"Well perfect! Like I said, call me if anything happens." With that, we leave and head over to Anteiku. We don't get out of the car as soon as we arrive, I can tell Kaneki needs some time. I place a hand on his shoulder, over the time period of him living with me, he has gotten more and more comfortable with skinship but I don't do it too much since I don't want to make him uncomfortable. His head is n his hands at first and then he leans back against the seat. There isn't much I can say to help him right now so I just resort to staying beside him until he's ready.

 

  When we finally exit the car and walk into Anteiku, Enji welcomes us and asks Kaneki if they found the guy who broke in his house yet. I think he can see the look on his face because he gives a soft smile and tells him that he doesn't have to worry since he has everyone at Anteiku to support him.

"Thanks, Ji. Hey dismissed my case but I won't worry about it too much. I'm just excited for our vacation."

"Oh totally man! It's going to be so awesome!"

"So where did we agree on going?" Touka comes walking in from the kitchen. 

"We decided on the Disney Caribbean Beach Resort since we are all pitching in on the room fees, it would be our best option." I reply. "It's good Yoshimura and I are best at speaking English so we can help with communicating in case we are struggling.

"I didn't know you could speak english." Kaneki looks at me with amazement and I can't help but smile, feeling proud for some reason.

"We'll, it isn't as good as Yoshimura's but -"

"Come now, don't be so modest, Uta." The old man approaches us. "His English is so good you could mistake him for an American." 

"Whoa!" I shyly turn away from Kaneki's gaze. "Anyways, everyone should pack up today when you get home since the plane leaves at 5:30 tomorrow." Everyone groans, not looking forward to waking up so early but it's best to leave early. We sit down and I order a French vanilla coffee while Kaneki orders a plain black coffee. I don't realize how much I am staring because he asks me if everything is okay. "Oh, yeah. Sorry."

"It's okay." He takes a sip. "You know, I've never been on a plane before."

"Really? So I can imagine you're pretty nervous."

"Yeah but as long as we get seats next to each other, I think I'll be okay."

~~~~~~~SKIP TO TOMORROW~~~~~~~~~~

  It is currently 4:20am and we are both seriously tired. We've already had our showers, Kaneki is passed out on the couch right now with Luna and Smiley on top of him. I snap a quick picture before patting on his back.

"Hey Kaneki...Kanek." He lets out a squeaky groan that I can't help but find cute. "Come on, we gotta drop Smiley and Luna off at the sitters then meet the others at the airport." He reluctantly gets up and helps harness and leash the animals before putting them, and our luggage in the car. I already expect him to pass out on the car ride but he passes out as soon as he gets his seat belt on. It doesn't take long to get to the sitter. In all honesty, I had to scrape up a few extra hundred dollars to pay the sitter for three weeks. I let Kaneki sleep while I take the animals up to the front porch where the sitter is waiting for me.

"Good morning." I say. 

"Morning. I have to say, this is the first time I've gotten up so early to pet sit."

"Yeah, sorry about that. You were the only one that would get up his early, and lived close nonetheless."

"Yeah, don't worry about it, it's fine. How long is the flight if you don't mind me asking?"

"15 hours and 44 minutes. We'll actually have to take probably 2 stops so... a lot of jet lag."

"We'll I don't want to keep you, you have a long day ahead."

"Take care of my kids?"

"Don't worry, we'll have fun!"

"Alright. Thank you so much again!" I rush back to the car and hop in, driving off to the airport.


	8. When You Don't See A Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We still have some time before we need to head back, why don't we look around the shops?" Yoshimura says. They head into one of the shops that is close by, it's just a shop full of random items but nothing they don't like. Kaneki is perusing a section full of toys and plushies and sees something he cannot turn away from. 
> 
> "No way! RJ!" 
> 
> "Hm?" Uta turns to Kaneki's direction and his eyes widen. "Wait, you like BTS too?"
> 
> " 'Too'? You're also an ARMY?" 
> 
> "Uh, duh!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the airplane flight.  
> \-----------------------------------------------
> 
> The airplane food ideas I got from the website below.
> 
> https://www.japancentre.com/en/cookings/69-sushi-and-bento/page/2?cooking_ids%5B%5D=69&per_page=24&sort_value=nw
> 
> It is a very helpful site and I do suggest you look at it.
> 
> \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> SONG:
> 
> BTS - Airplane pt.2 
> 
> I received the lyrics from:  
> https://genius.com/Genius-translations-bts-airplane-pt2-english-translation-lyrics  
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> DO I HAVE ANY ARMYS HERE? WHERE ARE MY FELLOW ARMYS AT?

 NO ONE'S P.O.V

 

  The plane ride itself isn't too bad. Uta has the seat by the window, Kaneki has the middle seat and Yoshimura has the aisle seat. 

"Are you boys hungry?" Yoshimura asks them.

"I could go for a bite." Kaneki replies. They take a look at the menu and when they decide what they want, Yoshimura flags down the flight attendant.

"Hello, we would like to order a meal." 

"Of course! Have you decided what you want?" 

"Yes, we have. I would like the in Sri sushi round-up." She writes down his order and looks over to Uta whom says,

"And I will have the autumn bento." After she writes down she looks over to Kaneki. She raises a brow when Kaneki gives her is order, as does the other two men beside him.

"I-I'll have the um...cute bento." When she gets everyone's orders she walks off. Uta turns to Kankei but doesn't say anything, causing the shy man to blush.

 (KANEKI'S ORDER: https://www.japancentre.com/en/recipes/581-cute-bento)

(UTA'S ORDER: https://www.japancentre.com/en/recipes/1017-autumn-bento)

(YOSHIMURA'S ORDER: https://www.japancentre.com/en/recipes/753-inari-sushi-round-up)

When their orders arrive, Kaneki almost gasps at the sight of his meal. It's almost too cute to eat.

"Cute bento meal huh?" Uta smiles at Kaneki. 

"I...I'm allowed to like things like this."

"Hey, I'm not judging. It fits you." They stare at each other for a long moment until Yoshimura clears his throat at them, smirking knowingly. They all start to dig in, loving the food the instant it hits their tongues. When they are finished they proceed to occupy themselves with music and movies. Uta and Kaneki decide to watch The Lion King. 

 

  The flight is long until they finally make their first stop. The jet lag getting to them pretty hard. They still have some time before their next flight so they decide to grab some coffee. The group walks around the airport in search for a good coffee shop. 

"There's one." She points to a Starbucks. They proceed to walk in the direction of the coffee shop. "That flight seemed a lot longer than I thought." 

"It was. I unfortunately didn't look at the time right. The flight is 20 hours. We spent the first half of the flight on the plane." They all sigh loudly. "I know, I know! I'm sorry!" Uta apologizes but they aren't really mad at him. They enter the coffee shop and take a look at the menu and tries to read everything off to the others the best he can. 

"Hello, welcome to Starbucks. How can I help you?" The barista welcomes them from behind the counter, his blue eyes sparkling brightly from behind his curly blonde hair. 

 **"Oh, um, hello."** Uta speaks, looking at Kaneki to see his reaction toward him speaking english. He's satisfied with the reaction because Kaneki is staring at him with wide eyes. **"We have big order."**

"That's alright. We'll just go one at a time." 

**"Okay. I would like vanilla sweet cream cold brew and blueberry muffin."**

"Alrighty, next." Kaneki steps up to the counter and looks to Uta who is more than happy to help him. 

 **"U-Um...h-hello."** Kaneki says, trying to repeat what Uta has said. The barista giggles.

"Hello there cutie. What can I get you?" Uta does not like the obvious flirting that the barista is doing but he tries to ignore it.

"What looks good to you?" Uta asks him and Kaneki points to what he wants. "Okay, so you'll tell him, _ **'I** **would** **like,'** "_

**"I wud l....like,"**

_**"'Iced tea'"** _

**"Iced tea"**

_**"'With no sugar"** _

**"W-Wit no sugar"**

_**"'And a plain muffin"** _

**"And a prain muffin"**

_**"With cream cheese."** _

**"Wit cream cheese."** The barista puts in his order, smiling at him as he does so. 

"That was really good." The man says. "You must have practiced a lot." Uta translates for Kaneki and replies that it's his first time speaking English. "Really? Well you did very well." He takes everyone else's orders and once everyone has their food, they go to sit down at one of the booths. 

"Hey, that was amazing. You did better than I did as a beginner."

"I - Really? I felt embarrassed."

"No, you did awesome! I'm proud of you." Kaneki's heart flutters a bit and a little grin forms on his face. 

 

  Hey all eat their food, occasionally checking the time to make sure they don't miss their next flight. 

"We still have some time before we need to head back, why don't we look around the shops?" Yoshimura says. They head into one of the shops that is close by, it's just a shop full of random items but nothing they don't like. Kaneki is perusing a section full of toys and plushies and sees something he cannot turn away from. 

"No way! RJ!" 

"Hm?" Uta turns to Kaneki's direction and his eyes widen. "Wait, you like BTS too?"

" 'Too'? You're also an ARMY?" 

"Uh, duh!"

"Really? How come you never said anything?"

"Honestly, I thought you would laugh at me..."

"Yeah, I kind of felt the same way. But it's fine now! You heard the news right?"

"News?" 

"That they're going to be coming to Tokyo!"

"Shut up, are they really? I didn't get any notifications like that. Do you want to go?"

"Uta, tickets are expensive."

"Kaneki, I literally promise you that I have the money."

"How?"

"Just... a gift. I promise I can pay. Just as long as you're okay with camping outside probably almost two days prior to the concert."

"I'm willing to camps a week prior if I need to." 

"So it's settled then. We'll need to order tickets as soon as they're selling since they are sold out in five minutes."

"Definitely."

"Wich plushie are you going to get?"

"RJ, of course. What about you?"

"Koya, duh. NamJin for life."

"Oh my god yes!" Kaneki and Uta pay for their plushies and everyone heads back to their seats on the plane, ready for take off while their plushies rest on their laps.

~~~~~~~~

RJ Plushie: http://img10.shop-pro.jp/PA01048/244/product/127261554.jpg?cmsp_timestamp=20180115221255

Koya Plushie: https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71pCmbA1-uL._SX425_.jpg

~~~~~~~~

Sometime during the middle of the flight, Uta turns to Kaneki with his earbud. 

"Wanna listen to some BTS?" 

"You know it." Uta scrolls through his playlist and clicks on the song  _Airplane pt.2_. Kaneki giggles at that. 

 _[Verse 1: Jungkook]  
An odd kid  
He sang as if he was breathing  
Wherever was fine  
He only wanted to do music  
Only singing  
The thing that made his heart beat  
Although he walked down the only path  
  
[Verse 2: Jimin, V]  
It’s not easy  
Failure and frustration  
Words that someone gave me after calling me, exhausted, to stop  
You’re a singing star  
You’re a singing star  
But I see no star...  
After some years passed by  
  
[Pre-Chorus:  _Jin_ , RM]  
_(We still)_  Sky high, sky fly, sky dope  
_(We still)_  Same try, same scar, same work  
_(We still)_  Wherever in the world we go  
_(We still)_  We work in our hotel rooms  
_(I still)_  One day it works out too well, then the next day I’m completely screwed  
[_(I still)_](https://genius.com/Genius-translations-bts-airplane-pt2-english-translation-lyrics#note-15299775)_  [Who should I live as today, Kim Namjoon or RM?](https://genius.com/Genius-translations-bts-airplane-pt2-english-translation-lyrics#note-15299775)  
25, I still don’t know how to live well  
So, today as well, we just go

 _[Chorus: Jimin, Jungkook]_  
We goin’ from NY to Cali  
London to Paris  
[Wherever we go, party](https://genius.com/Genius-translations-bts-airplane-pt2-english-translation-lyrics#note-15775456)  
El Mariachi  
El Mariachi  
El Mariachi  
We goin’ from Tokyo, Italy  
Hong Kong to Brazil  
Wherever in the world, I will sing  
El Mariachi  
El Mariachi  
El Mariachi  
El Mariachi  
  
[[Verse 3: J-Hope]](https://genius.com/Genius-translations-bts-airplane-pt2-english-translation-lyrics#note-15735146)  
Every day above the clouds, Every day above the clouds  
My feel above the clouds, Check it above the clouds  
My chemistry with the clouds, All day with the clouds  
The fun of riding the clouds, Fade in looking at the clouds  
You don’t know maybe  
Thanks to years of flying  
I got a few hundred thousand mileage  
It’s time to console you who couldn’t make it  
I’ll give you the flight points as a present  
[Love the airplane mode, Turn off all the concerns](https://genius.com/Genius-translations-bts-airplane-pt2-english-translation-lyrics#note-15735060)  
No matter what anyone says  
I’ll just continue to keep the first  
And look at the night sky as it fits my place right now

 _[Bridge: _Jimin_ , Suga]  
_I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know_  
Yeah how to stop  
_I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know_  
Yeah how to take some rest  
_I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know_  
Yeah how to fail  
_I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know__  
I got fed up by you cutely bragging about your money on TV  
My passport is about to die from overwork  
You’re the ones who benefitted from media, bwahahaha  
Hey, hey you’re the ones who’re better at playing celebrities  
We’re still the same as back then  
Woo!  
  
[Chorus: V, Jin]  
We goin’ from Mexico City  
London to Paris  
Wherever we go, party  
El Mariachi  
El Mariachi  
El Mariachi  
We goin’ from Tokyo, Italy  
Hong Kong to Brazil  
Wherever in the world, I will sing  
El Mariachi  
El Mariachi  
El Mariachi  
El Mariachi

 

Kaneki ends up falling asleep with his head leaning on Uta's shoulder, holding onto his RJ plushie. Uta can't help but feel content like this, falling asleep also.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued....


	9. I'm Damaged Now (PART 1 OF THE DISNEY TRIP)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So fun! Kaneki, what did you think?" But Kaneki doesn't answer. In fact, he hasn't even gotten up from his seat yet. "Kaneki, is everything okay?" Uta leans down to Kaneki and touches his arm, snapping him out of it. "Hey, you gotta get up and let other people on." He helps Kaneki out of the seat and out of the building. Yoshimura greets them and asks them how the ride was, getting loud and positive replies from all of them except Kaneki. While they're all talking about the ride, Uta pulls Kaneki off to the side. "Hey, what happened back there?"
> 
> "I..." 
> 
> "It's okay, you can tell me. You know I won't laugh, if that's what you're worried about." Kaneki knows but it's still embarrassing. 
> 
> "I was...scared." It comes out in a whisper and Uta's eyes widen before he suddenly pulls the other into a deep hug. 
> 
> "I'm so sorry, Kaneki. Fuck, I should have been paying attention."
> 
> "N-No, no, it's okay."
> 
> "No, it's not." Uta sighs. "From now on, you're going to stay in my sight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 of the flight.

  The plane finally lands and they all grab heir bags and head off the plane. Kaneki is extremely tired but he is excited to be able to go to Disney World. Yoshimura called for a rental car so everyone is just waiting for it to arrive. They are currently standing outside of he airport with heir bags. Kaneki has his head on Uta's shoulder, still trying to fully wake up. 

"So our next destination is Disney World right?" Enji rubs his eyes.

"Yes. Once we're there, we can grab something to eat." Yoshimura says. "And it looks like the car is here." It's a decent sized car. Since it's Kaneki, Uta, Yoshimura, Enji, Touka, Nishiki, and Nishiki's girlfriend, Kimi, the car is just big enough to fit them all. They would have brought Hinami and her mother but they had to stay home for some reason. Oh well, they can take them next vacation. The car ride there isn't far at all, in fact, only ten-fifteen minutes. When they get there, they all stare, amazed. Yoshimura drives to their hotels in the Caribbean beach resort. When they get there, they park the car, and grab their bags, heading to their rooms. They walk up to the front desk and get the key cards for their rooms. When Yoshimura called to ask, they told him that each room has two queen sized beds, two big dressers, one bathroom with a walk-in shower, a double-flushing toilet, and a sink and mirror. There is a decent sized television also that has cable and the wifi is free. Obviously, Kaneki and Uta are going to share a room, Nishiki and Kimi will share a room, Yoshimura and Eji are going to share a room, and Touka will get a room to herself. Once in the room, Uta begins to check the beds and drawers. 

"What are you doing?" Kaneki asks.

"Well, I've stayed in a few hotels and... well you learn to check the room before unpacking."

"For...bedbugs?"

"Any type of bugs." He finishes and claps his hands. "I didn't think there were any in here, just being cautious. We can unpack now." They each take a dresser, stuffing their clothes inside before heading back out to meet with the others who are waiting in the lobby. 

"Decide on where to eat?" Uta kind of has to yell due to the distance. 

"Sebastian's Bistro sounds good." Touka says, looking at the map that she was given. 

""What do they have there?"

"Salads, sandwiches, burgers, steak, seafood entrees."

"I'm sold." 

 

  The bistro is very nice, and the comfortable chairs add to the pleasure. When they take their seats, they are greeted and given a menu but it doesn't take long for them to order. Touka takes a crab cake-topped, minus the horseradish, with french fries and coca cola. Nishiki gets grilled skirt steak with fresh-brewed iced tea, and Kimi gets kale and mixed green salad with grilled chicken and a fresh-brewed iced tea. Yoshimura and Enji order smoked turkey on ciabatta with fanta and a peachcomber. And Kaneki and Uta order the citrus-stuffed sustainable whole fish with turmeric brown rice and cilantro-lime vinaigrette. Non of them get any alcoholic beverages, even though they did look good. The food is absolutely amazing when it comes, nothing like they've ever tasted. In Florida right now it is 75° F so they are pretty excited about the warmer weather.  They're all wearing weather comfortable clothing for the day since it's suppose to get a bit hotter later on. 

**YOSHIMURA**

**KANEKI**

 

**UTA**

**NISHIKI**

**ENJI**

**TOUKA**

      

**KIMI**

Kaneki digs into his food and groans at the amazing taste.

"Hey," Uta grins from next to him. "I'm a bit jealous." 

"I - What?" He asks with a mouth full of food.  

"I thought you only did that with my food. I'll need to up my game."

"Oh, hahaha! No, nothing is better than you're cooking."

"I certainly hope so." The two smile at each other, stares lingering longer than needed until Enji clears his throat and starts up a conversation. 

 

  When they are finished eating, they grab their things and figure out where to start. 

"Man, how are we going to decide what to do first?" Enji asks, excited. 

"That's the wonders of Disney. Endless possibilities." Kimi says. 

"I don't think we should start on the water parks just yet so why don't we just start with Magic Kingdom Park?" Nishiki suggests. They all agree and take the Magic Kingdom buses, admiring the view of their surroundings. When they get to their stop, they exit the bus and begin wondering around. Of course, Yoshimura and Uta need to help translate some things but that's all fine. They start walking down main street, loving the sights and smells. From a distance, they can hear upbeat piano music and as they get closer, they see the Casey's Corner Pianist. Excited, Enji rushes over in front of the piano and spreads his arms out wide as Touka snaps his picture, the pianist even smiles for the photo. Looking at the map, Uta points out Space Mountain so they head over to the entrance of the line. Yoshimura tells them to go ahead, he'll wait for everyone at the end, to which the rest of them nod and continue down the entrance to the actual ride. However, one person looks very timid but he follows his friends anyways. They get to the coaster and wait for their turns to hop in. The coaster's seats are vertical to where no one is sitting next to another person, which only serves to make Kaneki even more timid but Uta doesn't seem to notice over his own excitement. He doesn't want to be a bother so he sucks it up and gets into the middle car while Uta gets in the front and Enji behind him. The ride starts up, moving through the pitch black tunnels that only light up with a quick flash of neon lights. Kaneki's heart drops to his stomach as the ride suddenly gets faster, the light now brighter and flash in more frequency. Then, they are outside of the tunnels, and they are slowly headed up a slope, the wait to get to the top is nerve wracking for Kaneki but thankfully and unfortunately the wait isn't long because the ride is speeding up again. Kaneki might be the only one that is screaming in terror and not joy, the speed of his own heart is becoming painful. He only closes his eyes for a brief moment and when he opens them, they are back in a tunnel but the whole tunnel is flashing red, the lights symbolizing his own emotions right now. The ride then ends and it's until then that he notices how hard he has gripped the rail before it lift up for him to get off. 

"Man that was so awesome!" Enji exclaims. 

"So fun! Kaneki, what did you think?" But Kaneki doesn't answer. In fact, he hasn't even gotten up from his seat yet. "Kaneki, is everything okay?" Uta leans down to Kaneki and touches his arm, snapping him out of it. "Hey, you gotta get up and let other people on." He helps Kaneki out of the seat and out of the building. Yoshimura greets them and asks them how the ride was, getting loud and positive replies from all of them except Kaneki. While they're all talking about the ride, Uta pulls Kaneki off to the side. "Hey, what happened back there?"

"I..." 

"It's okay, you can tell me. You know I won't laugh, if that's what you're worried about." Kaneki knows but it's still embarrassing. 

"I was...scared." It comes out in a whisper and Uta's eyes widen before he suddenly pulls the other into a deep hug. 

"I'm so sorry, Kaneki. Fuck, I should have been paying attention."

"N-No, no, it's okay."

"No, it's not." Uta sighs. "From now on, you're going to stay in my sight." 

When Uta finally gets Kaneki to calm down, he and Kaneki catch up with the group. Kimi suggests that they all ride the Mad Tea Party teacups. Nishiki of course agrees to riding the teacups with Kimi so they get a teacup by themselves. Enji, Yoshimura, and Touka get a teacup together, and Uta gets a teacup with Kaneki. He thinks it's best for it to just be him and Kaneki since Kaneki seems a bit embarrassed about the panic attacks that he gets, even though Uta doesn't mind helping him at all. The ride starts up, people have already started spinning their teacups before the ride even starts. Uta looks at the other man and smiles. "Wanna spin?" Kaneki smiles back and nods so Uta starts spinning their teacup gently, trying not to overwhelm the other. As Kaneki begins getting used to the ride, Uta picks up the pace and the ride spins faster and faster, Kaneki is laughing loudly and trying not to topple over and it is the most beautiful thing Uta has ever seen and heard. Unfortunately, the ride ends all too soon and they get off. A few rides later, they all start to get hungry again and they haven't even been through all of Magic Kingdom. They eat at Pinocchio Village Haus where they get a meat lovers flatbread and a gourmet cheese flatbread. For drinks, Kaneki gets a coca-cola, Uta gets a blue raspberry slushy, Yoshimura gets an unsweetened tea, Enji gets a coca-cola, Nishiki and Kimi share an iced mocha, and Touka just takes a water. The pizza is delicious, certainly the best they've ever had, it kind of makes Uta want to learn how to make homemade pizzas. 

 

KANEKI'S P.O.V

 

  As the day goes on, we all start to get tired so we head back to our hotel rooms. I flop down onto the bed, exhausted and sweaty. 

"Hey, you." Uta pats my thigh. "Why don't you go and wash up and I can put on a movie or something?"

"Hnnnnngggg." I groan into the blankets. "Don' wanna get up." I hear Uta sigh.

"Then, I'll get a shower first so you can lay here and relax for a little bit. How's that sound?" 

"Mhm." 

"Okay, I'll be out soon." I hear him enter the bathroom and I feel myself start to doze off. I don't realize that I've fallen asleep until I feel hands under my arms pulling me out of bed and onto my feet. Still bleary from just having woke up, I put my hands on his shoulders to keep my own body steady only to find that... there is no shirt. So... while I'm still not able to realize my own actions, I curiously slide my hands down, soft hard skin under my palms. 

"...Kaneki?" Uta's voice is so soft. He's so close I can feel his warm breath. Then, suddenly, my eyes widen and I can finally see what I'm doing. I don't think my face has ever been so red in my whole life. 

"O-O-Oh, I-I didn't...I just...I'm sory, I-"

"Kaneki." Uta says in a light whisper, so soft that I would not have heard it had I not been so close. He uses his pointer finger and thumb, placing it on my chin, to lift my head up so I am looking into his eyes. My heart starts to race, and I'm sure he can feel it too. "It's okay... cutie." He's getting closer....so much closer. I feel like my heart is going to explode. Just as his lips are almost touching mine, the heat from his mouth is radiating on my lips, someone knocks on the door. We both jump and turn to the door, I can see annoyance in Uta's eyes but he just pushes it aside and moves away from me, unfortunately. I rush to the bathroom, grabbing some night clothes, to hide any embarrassment and lock the door quickly. I lean against the door, my body sliding down until I am on the floor with my knees to my chest. _Oh god! Oh my god! He almost - I almost - we almost kissed! Is this real? It can't be... there's no way!_ I unconsciously reach up and touch my fingertips to my lips. _He was so warm... so close._ Our lips almost touched. A small smile grazes my lips. _I wonder... I wonder if that's all it would have been had we not been interrupted._ I shake off the thought and proceed to take my shower. By the time I get out, whoever had knocked is already gone and Uta is relaxing on his bed and watching television. "I uh, I fixed up your bed for you."

"Oh, thanks." I get under the covers. The air is awkward and I don't really know what to say next. 

"I'm, um, sorry about that." His words take me off guard. Why is he sorry? He doesn't need to be. Maybe he thought that what he did... or almost did, was a mistake. Oh.

"It's okay..." We stay up and watch a few shows until there is nothing good on, and we just go to sleep. _It's okay._ The words keep running in my mind. They're words I say often. Not only to other people but to myself too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued...


End file.
